4 WAYS TO ELIMINATE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
“When you change a belief, you change everything.” - tony robbins
Do you ever have a really good idea that really pumps you up? Something like starting a side-hustle, running a marathon, working towards achieving a dream of you’ve always had? You get really excited and then suddenly that little negative voice starts to creep in, telling you that you can’t do it.
How many times have you had an idea like this and then told yourself “I’m not good enough,” or “she’s doing a better job than I am,” or said “There’s no way I could achieve that”? These are all forms of negative self-talk, which stem from your inner critic.
That little voice can put an end to all your dreams and keep you at the same level you’ve always been - but only if you let it.
This habit of negative self-talk is a tough one to break. It runs deep. But listening to it and accepting the limiting beliefs it’s throwing at you only allows it to control you and limit your success.
I know from personal experience that it can be hard to tune that voice out - especially when it’s been there for so long. But here’s the thing: It can be done.
Once you start believing you’re good enough and stop telling yourself you’re not, you’ll truly begin to experience happiness in its purest form.
5 ways to eliminate negative self-talk
1. LISTEN TO YOUR INNER CRITIC
So, this might seem counter intuitive, but the only way to silence your inner critic is by listening to it.
A lot of the time, our negative thoughts stem from insecurities we have that are undeserved and completely unwarranted. Take the time to listen to what you’re telling yourself - write it down, and then ask yourself why you think those things. Nine times out of ten, you’ll struggle to think of an answer.
Look at some of the negative thoughts you’re having and ask yourself this: Would you tell your future daughter the same thing? I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that you probably wouldn’t… so why are you saying it to yourself?
2. Separate yourself from your inner critic
You need to realise that that little voice inside your head isn’t really you - it’s a formulation of negative experiences and observations of society that you’ve internalised as a form of self criticism.
Once you separate that voice from yourself, it will no longer have power over you.
3. stop comparing yourself to others
Now this might be really cliche, and you’ll probably roll your eyes, but there’s a quote that really speaks to me, and it’s this - “comparison is the thief of joy.” *Insert exasperated sigh*
As cliche as it may be, this quote speaks enormous truth! We often find ourselves comparing our success to someone else - but nine times out of ten, we are being unnecessarily harsh on ourselves and comparing someone else’s middle to our beginning. Remember that everyone grows at different paces and you are not a failure because of anyone else success.
At the same time, if you find yourself being critical and judgemental of others (it’s nothing to be ashamed of, we’ve all done it before), this could also be impacting on the way you see yourself. Negative thoughts of any kind are harmful - by holding onto them (even if it’s about someone else) you’re forming the mentality that it’s okay to be critical towards yourself. Stop feeding into negativity, because it will only do you more harm than good.
5. do something about it
Although our negative self-talk is often unwarranted, some of the criticism stems from real issues. In order to silence your inner critic, these need to be addressed. There may be certain parts of your life that you know need improving. For example, you may be consistently late when it comes to your deadlines. You need to realise that issue and work on resolving it. If you don’t, you’re simply providing a reason for your inner critic to pipe up.
To put a long story short - listen to your inner critic and ask yourself why you’re doubting yourself. You’ll probably realise that you’re being unnecessarily negative towards yourself. Separate yourself from that voice in your head, start focusing on yourself and take action! Set goals and track your process (journaling can be a great way to tackle this). You may not think you’re making progress, but baby steps go a long way.